But you see however much you mask it under lofty ideals. I mean that the most religious people in the world the greatest saints are the various rascals. I’ve known lots of them. I’ll tell you in confidence I’ve known a lot of clergyman. And the filthiest stories I have ever heard in my life were totally. 


So, in Hebrew theology incidentally. That there is a thing called the yetzer harah. And in the beginning of time when God created Adam he implanted in him the yetzer hara and the yetzer hara means that wayward spirit. He put something funny in man so that man would be a little odd and it was a result of the yetzer hara that Adam was tempted by Eve who was tempted by the serpent to eat that famous fruit. And, but the Hebrew believes that everything that God created is good. Including the Yetzer Hara. Because if it hadn’t been for the yetzer hara, there would have nothing ever happened. Everybody would have obeyed God and God would have said well this is kind of a bore. Now that you see, you can’t you can’t just get up to someone and say disobey me, because if they do there are varying you. See that’s a double bind. Say to somebody disobey me but God is much more subtle than that. He didn’t tell Adam to disobey he told him to obey. But suddenly he put this yetzer hara thing in like that so that, God would say well I’m not responsible. For this thing’s going to happen on its own because what everybody wants is something to happen on its own. And everybody wants that. Because you see, this sensation of being you. This curious lonely center of awkward sensitivity, subject to the most peculiar feelings and pains and anxieties and all that sort of thing all that. Is an essential prerequisite for feeling something else. These two experiences go together. 


If you want to… In other words if you want to be omnipotent and you want to live in a universe where nothing happens except what you exactly what you will to happen. In other words you say I would like to be God if you think that’s the way God is and everything is there for totally under my control. Everything is absolutely transparent to my intelligence. I have no problems. A lot of people coming on like they think they have attained the state, and that’s a lot of bunk nobody wants to be in that position. Because it wouldn’t be anything to it. Because once everything is under your central control,  what is nothing is happening. It’s a bore from beginning to end. So what any one, or any being whatsoever, who has a sense of centrality, who has a sense of self who has a sense of identity that sense of identity is inseparable from something else going on. That is defined as not being me. As not being under my control, and that may jump at any time. It might even eat me. 


So, what I want to first of all to understand is that these two sensations. One, of being the lonely central sensitive vulnerable self, living in the midst of a world that feels other. That is not under your control. I want to try and show you that these two sensations are really one sensation, or rather two aspects of one sensation. You couldn’t have the one experience without the other experience. Now this is a rather good thing to know. Because it means that you won’t panic if you discover this people who suffer from chronic anxiety are always in Doubt, you see, about this relationship between what I feel as myself and what I feel or something else. 


Let’s suppose you are anxious about your relationship with other people. You walk into a room like this restaurant here, and you sit down at dinner and some stranger opposite to you. You know nothing about the stranger, and you begin maybe you feel a little reluctant to open conversation. You don’t know what kind of a whether this person is going to be sane or some kind of a crackpot, or some kind of awful stuffy square, or you don’t know what it is. So you start dancing around a little but you get the feeling you see. And now I better watch myself because I do after all want to make a good impression. I don’t want to make an enemy. So you watch yourself, and, this is a funny thing then begins called self-consciousness. And people say sort of Ha-Ha to each other and the usual way in which strangers come on. 


And, there is also there are there is there is involved in this encounter the secret game is that people are playing all the time. To defend themselves by putting other people down. This is really a very wicked game but, every cretin see every every living being, if the truth be told is a manifestation of everything that there is an art of what it is what we call God in old fashioned language. Every human being is, and every one I as I look around I can see every one of you as the the Divine Being coming at me in a different way. Crazy. 


But the thing is that what we do is to try and prevent people from realizing that this is so by pointing out to them in the most subtle ways their limitations. And seeing if we can phase them. Put a person off a little bit, make the man uncertain, make them unsteady. It’s like all sorts of games that you can play where if a person wavers he loses. But people play that with each other all the time. And the reason they do it is not the reason they think. It is that the game if everybody were perfectly clear that they were a manifestation of the Divine Being, nothing very much would happen. But so as to keep everybody a little bit unclear about it, the whole thing bugs itself and creates these little doubts. So what we are beginning with this is little doubts, you see, these sensations of blockage of not being very sure of yourself, but knowing very much indeed that you are yourself and that you’re alone and it’s all up to you. That terrible feeling of responsibility. 


So but, what I’m trying to point out to you is if you intensify that feeling, and bring it to its highest pitch, you will immediately realize that you are aware of it only by virtue of the entire sensation of something else. Something defined as not you. So, the feeling of not you and the feeling of you, are relative. They go together, and you can’t have the one without the other, and if you can’t have the one without the other that means there’s a secret conspiracy between the two. They’re really the same, but pretending to be different. Because the whole idea is, if there wasn’t a difference you wouldn’t know anything was happening. I mean if it was all the same it’s like that song of Bob Dylan’s which says something like, ‘Well I’m just like Guy Like you I was like anybody else no use me talking to you, because you just like me.’ 


So, the whole point is that of everybody of us all but the same and all share the same ideas exactly and so on, there’d be no nothing to talk about, because everybody would be a bore. There’d be just yourself echoing back at you. You would feel like a madman and a hall of mirrors where everything you went as was just yourself seeing in all directions that you well that’s not fun. But, you may think that I’m speaking in favor of some kind of schizoid pluralistic universe. No, the whole point is this that a difference. And every kind of variety of differentiation is the way through which unity is discovered. I mean this business about. [french]  is very important. And the fact that men and women, for example, as a primordial kind of difference, never can really understand each other is tremendously exciting. Because of that and that’s a way by which something happens. If it makes a difference then it’s there. If it doesn’t make a difference it doesn’t matter and what doesn’t matter doesn’t exist because it has no matter. 


So however, it is, wherever you notice a difference, the difference has two sides. What it is, and what it’s not. And these two sides, since you can’t have the one side without the other side, they’re really one. Because they go together inseparably. So, when you get this extreme sense of your own existence as a rather painful fact in the middle everything else. The everything else feeling and the you feeling, are two poles of one and the same process so that the real you is what lies between these poles and includes both of them. Now this is the fundamental principle of the whole way in which ancient Chinese thought developed. The philosophy of the yang and the yin. This is one of the oldest ideas in the universe. I mean, no that’s a rather too big language. On this planet. And, the philosophy which I shall have occasion to speak of a little bit more later of the Book of Changes, the I Ching, is based entirely on this. That the universe, is the interplay of difference, and the primordial difference is between up and down., band front black and whitee. Is and isn’t, male and female, positive and negative. So the word yang in Chinese means or refers to the south side of a mountain, which is the sunny side. The word yin refers to the north side of the mountain, which is the shady side. Did you ever see a South-sided mountain only, with no north side. Or in it may also young may refer to the north bank of a river which gets the sun and you into the south bank of the river, which gets the shade. And so, you will remember this. And one half of course is colors, dark. As it were, two fishes interlocked. And they are chasing each other. They actually form now you see more complicated symbols in which they form a helix. This is a helix. And the Spiral Nebulae are shaped this way, in the form of a helix and this is the position of man and woman making love fundamentally. Where I am trying to get inside you, and you’re trying to get inside me, and we’re trying to get into the middle of each other, but somehow or other a difference and we can never quite get there. Just like if I want to see the back of my head I can go around and around and I can chase it but I never quite catch up with it. But that’s what makes everything work. It is said in the the Vedanta sutras without. The Lord of the supreme no of all things who is the knower in all of us doesn’t know itself. In the same way that fire doesn’t burn itself and a knife doesn’t cut itself. 


So, nothing to God even, you see, would be more mysterious than God. Do you know somehow how you surprise yourself. For example, when you feel your own pulse. And you suddenly feel this life going on in, which you’re not willing. Are all sorts of ways in which you can say you have the belly rumbles and you didn’t intend to have the bed around bills and suddenly it happened or you had hiccups. And now are you having hiccups or not? Is this something you’re doing, or is it merely something that’s happening to you, as if it was raining in the rain was happening to you. This is a very debatable question. Consider breathing. Are you breathing, or is it breathing you. Well you can feel it either way you can decide to breathe and feel that you’re breathing in just the same way that you walk when you want to on the other hand when you forget about breathing altogether it still goes on and so it seems to be something that happens to you which is it? Do you grow your hair or does your hair just grow by itself? What enables you to make a decision. When you decide, do you first decide to decide, or do you just decide. Now how do you do that nobody knows you see. 


When Chuang Tzu tells a story that one philosopher asked, another how can one get the Tao which is the power of nature so as to have it for one’s own. And the other philosopher answers. Your life is not your own it is the delegated adaptability of Tao. Your offspring are not your own, they are the outputs of Tao. You move you know not how, you are addressed you know not why. These are the operations of Tao. So how could you have it for your own. And there’s a funny thing then. We can experience ourselves through and through, as something that just happens. Look look, at it this way. If you feel your body, your skin, your solidity our view. And regard what marvelous eyes you have, which are the power which generate light and color. Out of all these electrical quanta in the external world. And these ears. These beautiful shells that you wear on the side of your head. With their little spiral bones, cochlea inside you know all that marvelous. But you really don’t you don’t feel responsible for this. You don’t know how it’s made it is made. But it’s you. That’s what you are. That extraordinary pattern, beautiful, gorgeous. Wonderful arabesque of tubes and bones and cartilage and myriads of interconnecting electronics and nervous systems and everything wonderful to see. 


But the point, most people, don’t don’t notice they don’t say this is me they say well it’s some kind of very clever machine which a lot God made out of his infinite wisdom and put me in it. And this is a very limited view. Because the extraordinary thing is you see, that this is you. This extraordinary marvelous goings on, you see, but you can feel it all of it as if it was just happening to you. But if you want to feel it that way then you’ve got to go the whole way and you’ve got to feel that your decisions just happened to you. And that the thing that you call yourself to which things happen is just something that happens. You’re going to you don’t know how you managed to be and you go how you happen to be conscious. That just happened too. So happenings happen to happening. So you can really yourself completely irresponsible like that so. There’s nowhere. Or, when you get that way. That’s a very interesting road to run. But you can try the other way. You can extend it and say, now look here. If, I really am my eyes, and although I don’t understand them I mean that is sad I can’t describe it in lines and words. This is mean. Extraordinary thing, but it is. 


Well I don’t understand how it happens. But then, you see, that’s the whole point as I made a little while ago that the very Lord God Himself doesn’t understand how he happens, because if he did. What would be the point? There would be no mystery we no possibility of surprises. That’s why there has to be young and human Yang is bright and it understands everything yin is dark and damned if she will be understood. But there are two phases of the same being so your yang side is your conscious attention, all the bright things you know, and all the information you have and all the know-how and that you know what to do and your yin side is the other side of the young which enables the young to function because you don’t know why the young inside of you function that is the conscious, bright, intelligent side of you. It all depends on something you don’t understand at all. Because if it didn’t, it wouldn’t be there. Just like you wouldn’t be here unless there was something else. So they move together. 


And therefore, if you will accept the idea that you are your own eyes and your own heart and your own ears with that wonderful little spiral cochlear inside and all these amazing gadgets where you are all that. But you don’t know anything about it, but you are it. Now therefore, by a little extension of the imagination you can very well see that if all those the bones and subtleties inside you feel other than your conscious ego. But nevertheless are one with it the same argument will go for all the other things going on around you. The sun shining, the stars twinkling, the wind blowing, and the great ocean restlessly pounding against these clips. That’s you too. You don’t control it of course, because it has to be something about you you don’t control or you wouldn’t you. Now see that all all that is a lesson elementary in relativity. And relativity,  I’ve talked about it in this way which is kind of unscholarly and so on, but I want to get the message across the idea across because to understand the principle of relativity is the absolute foundation of the philosophy of the Tao. Lao Tzu takes it up in a second chapter, when he says when all the world understands beauty to beautiful, there is already arguments when all the world understands goodness to be good there is already evil. Thus to be and not to be, arise mutually. High and Low are posited mutually. Long and short are compared mutually. And he goes through a whole list of opposites, and show how they create each other. 


It’s like that wonderful little parable. The Chinese character of a man looks more or less like an upturned V. And Lafcadio Hearn in one of his books tells the story of a Japanese girl telling our little sister the meaning of the character of a man by taking two sticks of wood and balancing them together on the ground, two sticks of firewood, so that they form the upturned V. and she says to her little sister this is the character from man. Because neither stick will stand up unless it has the other to help it. And so you know we we must dig up the other. About the profound meaning underneath this is there is no self without other. And no man and ever don’t create get back the original plan every creature in the world feels it’s a man I don’t mean a male, but a human. And that is because it is in the Situation, where the thing it feels as itself as it separate identity is supported by the equal and opposite sensation of other. Center, periphery. Here, there now, then. Is, isn’t. Or whatever. These two, the yang and the in the yin, two poles that hold each other up. So the sand poem says. When misfortune comes, treat it as a blessing. When fortune comes treat it as a disaster.